Bobby

I've been really depressed lately.

I'm torn between the want to get it out and not even caring enough to write it all out. I feel completely dead, desensitized. I have to keep doing things and keep being distracted to even get myself into a good mood, and that only lasts for as long as I can keep myself from getting bored on World of Warcraft, or for as many games of DotA as I can get my brother and his friends to play with me, et cetera. I've also been constantly exhausted. Like, I wake up every morning feeling shitty, tired, and unable to go back to sleep at all. I get in bed around 11:30-12:30, fall asleep on the phone really fast, then actually get to sleep around 1 or 2 from what I gather. Then I wake up at 7 or 8, get up and play more games.

I haven't even been playing guitar. I don't have the will to do so. I haven't written any music at all in a few months, not even any of my short little clips of me messing around. I feel lonely all the time.

None of my friends ever want to do anything, either that or they never can. It's not like I've got a lot to choose from, most of them are in school out of town. I've been hanging out with my brother, his friends, and Stony. And by "hanging out," I mean we just play more video games. Stony and I play Smash Bros every once in a while in the morning, then Alex and I play WoW and Warcraft 3 at night. Whatever I do in the middle parts of the day, be it school, work, or both, that's my day.

I didn't want to write this because I didn't think it would help me at all and because I thought it would come off as too whiney. I know I was correct on the former, and I'm pretty sure the latter is also true. Whatever. I'm sick of all of this.

I fucking hate my life.

I really ought to update this more.

Chris was here for a week up until Friday. It was fricking awesome. We went to the Exploratorium and Lanapalooza 3 for a while, and just had a blast overall. I can't wait until she moves here for good. I really like my new sheets that she got me, and I'm going to start taking the electronic pet thingie with me to work and play it in the operators booth. I'm also really glad that her mom is really coming around to the idea of her moving here for good pretty soon. Right now she's at her school attempting to work out scheduling problems they set her up with, which are pretty shitty and really bad particularly for her because she's their fricking scholarship winner, and she can't even get half the classes she wanted. I believe that she's just going to transfer to the online dealy though, because that would also allow for her to get a part time job in the meantime before she moves here. Anyway, I'm pretty pleased with the way things are going. The only thing that's bothering me at all is that lately Bekah has been getting mad at me pretty easily and often. I've got patience and all I do is appologize and leave her alone for a while, but it's still kind of a bummer that I've got to walk on eggshells in my own home. I'm not going to let myself get too angry about it though, because I know she's stressed. However, I REALLY don't know about if I'm still going to live with her and Stony if and when they decide to have a kid. That's just unfair that she's so intent on doing it while still living with myself and (by then) Chris. Hopefully, Stony's resolve against doing that so soon (like in a year) will hold up and it won't happen anytime soon. Otherwise, living on my own is going really well. I'm no rich man, but I'm eating well and able to spend a little money on myself here and there and still have a pretty good sized bank account. Fat Jew Banker Powers, HO!

In other news, my brother sold his WoW account for like $350. For those who don't know, he got me one for free paid through the end of February, paid for with in-game gold to some guy he met online. I primarily played just with him, so it's kind of not nearly as much fun doing it by myself, and consequently, I haven't been playing it often. An hour or two a day, if that. If you listen carefully, you can hear Chris thanking the forces that be. Oh well.

Anyway, I'm gonna go play Zelda for a few hours until work at 2:45. Later.

Lots of news. Almost two weeks ago, I went to see Chris and go to a Blind Guardian concert with her. It was amazing. The whole thing, not just the concert. We had fun and watched Borat (which was crazy and funny yet disturbing), ate Greek food which was really good other than the crazy thing I tried with the spinich. That's paraphrased a LOT but Chris wrote a much better entry about it so yeah. Then, afterwards, Chris and her mom talked and it's been decided that Chris' mom is willing to support her moving up here, once her dad is done with school. I'm stoked. Particularly because....As of today I am moving out of my house and into a HOUSE (that's right, house, not appartment or duplex or anything like that) with Stony and Bekah, and all three of us are anticipating her joining us in the most kickass home ever. It's pretty nice. It's 2 bedroom/1 bath with a nice backyard (about the size of the grassy area of my backyard, if you're familiar with my house), a small garage and what have you. I'm really stoked. There are a lot of small things that are hard to explain but it's a rad house. Bekah and Stony are moving in this weekend, I'm going to early next week. I'm really glad and anticipating Chris visiting next month a whole lot. Even more so I'm waiting for Chris to be able to move here, it'll be so rad!

In other news, I've been listening to a bunch of new, really good nerd rap, and Stony and Andrew and I are going to start a rap group based on our gang, the Hard Kash Krew. The list Stony and I made of things to rap about includes:
Ko Kane (say it out loud if you're confused)
Guns
Killing
Kash
Ghost riding the whip
Krunkk (a particular type of crunk that you can only achieve by putting ko kane pills in your butt)
Ass
Titties
Kars

I'm really stoked. Really really stoked. I can't write it enough. I'm starting to pack tomorrow. Fuck yeah!

I just finally finished downloading the Final Fantasy XII soundtrack, and then I had to enter the names for all 100 tracks, but now I'm listening to it and it's so worth it. I am so stoked for that game. I get it tomorrow after work. AAASDFIDGFDJAKLDSJF1!

Oh also, I need to remember to give Nikki some Blind Guardian in a half hour at class.

Here's that extended post about my weekend:

On Thursday I got up and dressed, ate, finished packing last minute things (toothbrush, socks, et cetera) and waited. Tim had a test to take and we were leaving right after that. He ended up having to do some last minute cleaning and chores for his mom, so we left at about 12:30 instead of the predicted 11. We stopped in Santa Rosa to get a few things from Wal Mart and some food, then continued to Oakland, where we stopped in the Asian Mall for Tim to try to get some chinese person discounts on a cell phone case. He didn't, so we kept on our journey and it was pretty uneventful for the rest of the day until we got to San Luis Obispo. We met up with Pete-man and went to his place, and at this point it was like 8 or so and I was starving. For SOME reason, ordering pizza kept getting shoved aside so they could do other stuff online (because for some reason they were using the dominos website even though it was around the corner). We finally went there, and I got his for a Baja California license plate, then went back to Pete's and ate and watched Anchorman. Then we just messed around and went to the CalPoly campus (which is five minutes walk away) and took a bunch of bitchin pictures, stole a janitors duster, raptored each other a bunch, then went back and played some Donkey Konga and eventually ate raviollis. Lastly, we went to a little park thing right next to his room and took more pictures. It was a REALLY bitchin time. By this point it was like 2 in the morning, and I had to get up early, so we went back to his place and crashed. I slept pretty well.

But I woke up at 5:45 and couldn't get back to sleep, so I took a shower and got dressed (in my American flag pajama pants, a Hawaiian shirt, and my flannel jacket) and put a few things I might need in my backpack. The plan was I am to take a train to see Chris a day before the other two finish that trip, while they chill in SLO and just mess around. Pete drove me the five minutes to the station, and away I went. The train ride wasn't bad, the view was really nice because it pretty much followed the coast the whole way. Much better than the train through the Central Valley. Anyway, I got to LA and Chris was stressing and freaking out because I (oh horror of horrors) walked out of the station so they wouldn't have to park and pay some parking fee. They found me using the patented "Go around the block until we see him because we KNOW he's somewhere around the edge of the block" technique that I had suggested, and after a bit more directional confusion and time we finally got back to Chris' house. For those not in the "know" Chris moved yet again early this summer, to Torrance, and I was yet to see their new house. It's not too horribly small like I was expecting, from what I'd heard about it, and more importantly I got to see Chris, her grandma, and SPIKE (Chris' golden lab). I hadn't seen Spike in very nearly a year so I was thrilled to see her again, and Chris and her grandma and uncle and I went to lunch and then to a movie. Man Of The Year was decent, but it should have been sillier, but I still enjoyed it quite a bit. Afterwards, Chris and I just played videogames and played with Spike. I really enjoyed it.

Saturday, the day of the concert:
I don't remember at all when I woke up, in fact, most of the fist half of the day is blurry for me, for some reason. I know we went to Target and got some stuff to make food for Tim and Pete and I the next day, and I got a 12 pack of Jones soda, and then brought it back. Then we went to the beach for about an hour, and that was really nice, and Chris and I just walked and sat and talked. Pete and Tim didn't leave SLO until 11, so the earliest we were expecting them was 2:30, so at that time we went back to her house, called them when we got reception back, and found out they were still a good hour away. So we walked Spike, and then played more Donkey Konga until they got thurr. Then Chris' grandma Muffin-ed Tim, which was badass, and the four of us just lazed about and talked. We left at 5 for the concert, and got there a bit early, thanks to Keenan helping us over phone because of Tims typicaly bad Asian directions. There were SO MANY OUT OF COUNTRY LICENSE PLATES that we called a truce even on them after a while. The line to get in (if you ALREADY had a ticket) was seriously 3/4 of a mile long, and we were early. By the time we got to the front, it was easily 2 miles long. We hit up the bathroom, then the merchendise stand, and I got a poster for Chris, a shirt for Alex, one for Zach, and one for myself. I'm getting paid back for the ones for Alex and Zach, and I wanted to get Chris something, and I know she'll eventually steal the one I got myself so it all works out. Then we played the waiting game. We got to our seats, sooner or later 3 Inches of Blood came out. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I'd listened to their album and it wasn't bad. They played their songs well but didn't do much else, and there was too much of the screaming and not enough singing. But one day they might be pretty good. Then there was a half hour delay because of problems with traffic, and finally we heard it....
Doctor Doctor started playing over the speaker system.....Tim and I freaked the FUCK out. Nicko McBrian came out on stage and sat down towards the end, and then made the noise that Different Worlds starts with into a microphone, and from then on it was fucking Maiden going at it. They played through their entire new album in order, and then played Fear of the Dark, The Evil That Men Do, Hallowed Be Thy Name and Iron Maiden, and I have to say it was fucking RAD. A lot of people wanted less new stuff and more classics, but I say fuck 'em. I am an Iron Maiden fan, not a fan of their songs, and I love the new album. Yeah, overall it's more mellow, but it's still got it's moments, and they're plentiful and top notch. Live, every single song was way better than the recording. Bruce Dickinson commanded the crowd through each new song just as well as he did songs he's been doing for twenty years, and that is really what got me. I really can't say anything else about the show. It was fantastic. Afterwards we went to Dennys, and it was like...homecoming or prom night or something so it was pretty full. But a waiter saw Tims The Trooper shirt and grabbed his shoulder and started singing it, and we hit the ball off immediately and told him about the show and so he cut us in front of a bunch of highschoolers. It was rad. Then we tipped him $20 and went to Chris' house. Tim and Pete went to sleep in the garage immediately, Chris and I watched The Stuff and then I joined the other two and she slept in her room.

Sunday I got up around 8 and woke Chris up and just sort of talked to her for a while until Tim and Pete got up, and we all (sans Chris) ate breakfast and got ready for the trek home. Chris' mom made an appearance for about three minutes to meet Tim and Pete before we all left. I was amused how her and Chris' dad were conveniently busy doing other things and going places pretty much the entire weekend. Yeah, I don't think they were avoiding us....not at all. Anyway, I was really sad to go, but it wasn't as bad as it has been in the past. On the way to San Luis Obispo we listened to Music To Press Buttons To and that was hella good, and we just talked about videogames in general. When we got there, we went to a comic book/cd/record/geek action figure/movie store and just looked through stuff, talked to the cashiers (who were Maiden fans) about the concert and Maiden in general, then got frozen yogurt and Mexican food. Ate at Pete's, burned some cds, then Tim and I headed out for U-Town. The drive was really long but not bad. We talked about a huge variety of things, too much to go into in this already really long entry. He drove until we got through San Fransisco, then I drove the last two and a half hours.

Looking back I'm kind of sad that it's over. But not really, because I know I've got more times like this weekend to look forward to. I can honestly say it was one of the greatest times of my life. It was just so much fun I can't even put it into words, and I really bonded with Tim a lot, in a totally non-gay way, and Pete too. Chris and I were really happy to see one another and I think she feels closer to them as well, and of course everything between her and I was fantastic. The weekend just really had it all. It was probably the best weekend I've ever had, and if not #1, then a really strong contender.

And in three weeks I'm going back (by myself this time) to see Blind Guardian with Chris.

So I got back from Iron Maiden last night around 11:30 and let me tell you all...this weekend was one of the best weekends of my life. I'm going to write a lot more to this entry when I'm not tired and sore and don't have class in a half hour. But I just wanted you all to know that Maiden fucking rules.

Alright! Tomorrow I leave on my four day trip to see fucking IRON MAIDEN BITCHES!
Tim and I leave tomorrow morning in his car and drive to San Luis Obispo. Let the craziness commence for the night there, it's going to be fun. Then we sleep. Then our ways part for a day:
Tim and Pete are going to hang out there doing God knows what all day, then come to Chris' house on Saturday morning.
I'm taking a train to LA and getting picked up by Chris and her grandma and the three of us and her uncle are going to go bowling and then see a movie.
Saturday when we're all together at Chris' house, we go to Louisiana Fried Chicken in Compton, then go to Irvine and just kind of chill and mess around until it's about time for the concert, then we go in.

It starts at 6:30.

The opening band is 3 Inches of Blood. I downloaded their cd last night to know what to expect, and I'm still not sure what to think. It's like....power metal and poop metal mixed together. It actually is sort of growing on me. We'll see what they're like live. Anyway, that's not important because then....
IRON FUCKING MAIDEN BITCH! comes on and we see them. There are two plans for after that, depending on how that goes:
1) Iron Maiden is so intense that we either are killed by the performance or kill ourselves because we're so depressed about it being over or
2) We realize that if we survive, we can see them again at some point in time, and so we drive back to Chris' house and hang out until ungodly hours of the morning because we won't be able to sleep after so much intensity.

Then Sunday at some point we leave, drop Pete off in San Luis Obispo, get back to Ukiah really late, and then sleep.






I'm REALLY stoked.

Now that the cat is out of the bag, I want to write it myself: Chris and I are engaged as of a few days ago. I'm really happy about it. See her post on it if you feel so inclined. I'm just really super stoked.

Okay, so...Chris is gone. Only a couple days later than planned. I had tons of fun and will write a lot about it later probably, but right now I've got to go to work. I just had so much fun and needed to tell everybody that. Also, there's really bitchin' news but I'll leave that to her to post something about when she gets home. Yeah, that is all, really.